So, how is the beginning supposed to go? I don’t know. I realize that I never know how to begin, but something inside me makes me lob something out there because you can’t finish something that you haven’t begun. These beginnings are awkward, at best, but I’ve decided, as I always do, to just start.
Perhaps one of the difficulties that I find with beginnings is that I’m never really sure how things start or where the real beginning is in the first place. Nothing seems to just come into existence, but perceived existence changes throughout time just like a wave. It makes sense that there should be a point when that wave is first beginning but, as in mathematics, the intervals of each moment on that wave, including its beginning, can be infinitely divided into smaller intervals, so that there are smaller points within every point. In the same way, each moment of existence can be divided into micro-moments, which can be divided into nano-moments and so on. So somehow we live every shade of consciousness in some unit of space-time which, when examined closely, consists of infinitesimally small units that flow into one another in a wave of experience.
All experiences are wave-like in this manner. Human suffering is an excellent example of this because not only have all of us experienced it, but we have all paid attention to this experience because of the intensity of the emotions involved. Whatever causes the initial source of pain is more like a wave that sneaks up behind you and breaks on your heart the minute you turn your back to the ocean. It doesn’t seem to build like most waves of experience, but the emotions do ebb as the sea and return to a deeper level of consciousness. However, few emotional experiences end with the ebb of this first wave of emotion and it is the subsequent waves that better illustrate the wave-like nature of human experience.
These waves start out as a memory, thought, smell, movement or really anything or nothing. They are very subtle and the next thing you know, some emotion is exponentially multiplying in your consciousness and becomes more pervasive than your otherwise peaceful and sane thoughts. Then, just about the time you’ve decided that you are going insane, and perhaps long enough for you to come to terms with this new possible reality, the wave leaves in the same way it came. This seems to be a very natural process and you are never given more than you can handle. It is similar to a good yoga class in that you are challenged up to that edge and then the next pose comes. Perhaps you rest or perhaps you are challenged in a new way. It is that challenge, on whatever level it may come, that causes you to grow. It is as if the waves wash over us and gently shape us, washing away that which does not serve us and leaving behind the refined jewel of our true selves.
So, having begun this wave of blog-writing experience, I will leave any possible readers of this blog to meditate on the waves of experience that are passing through this very moment…